The bucolic village of Croton-on-Hudson is a little corner of Paradise where Happiness with a capital H reigns supreme. Or so one would have to believe to judge by the many protestations of sweetness and light by a small band of residents intent on proclaiming Croton to be a heaven on earth.
But suddenly there is trouble in Paradise. Someone out there doesn’t like Crotonblog. In fact, someone doesn’t like us so much that they took the trouble to mail a package of odoriferous material to us. It arrived yesterday.
Crotonblog is not so much bothered by the contents of this package as we are by the thought that among our neighbors there are people sick enough to go to the trouble and expense to do something like this. It is, we suppose, the ultimate poison pen letter.
Our initial impulse was to turn the matter over to the Croton Police Department. A wise friend advised us not to bother. It does not come within their jurisdiction, he pointed out. He advised us to turn the package and its contents over to the Postal Inspectors. According to our friend, the little-known Postal Inspection Service, the law enforcement arm of the US Postal Service, have a high rate of success in solving crimes involving use of the mails. Those who have used the mails to defraud or threaten others have found to their sorrow that the Postal Inspectors are relentless and have ways of tracing mailed material or discovering the identities of such mailers.
To the list of those in Croton who have had their tires slashed, their cars keyed, or their houses egged, add the name of Crotonblog. We have been the recipients of a package whose disgusting contents were labeled “Gorilla Crap.” What is so disquieting to us is the thought that out there is a person who did this may be someone among our neighbors, perhaps even among our friends, Chaucer’s “smiler with the knife beneath the cloak.” Someone in Croton sick enough to consider this some kind of a joke.
But there was a telltale giveaway in the package, revealing that the sender was not so clever after all. Crotonblog thinks the residents of Croton should know about the presence of a mentally ill person in our midst. The person who perpetrated this has done more harm to Croton’s image than any public airing of a difference of opinion could have caused.
Sick. Sick. Sick describes the perpetrator to a T, a letter in his name. We’ll withhold the rest of the clues to his identity for the Postal Inspectors. Crotonblog reproduces below a photograph of the contents of the package:
Click image to enlarge.